By Marie Bombeck Last week I ran away. I left the to-do list and my planner on the desk and dirty laundry in the hamper. I dropped all my responsibilities and fled the state. OK, before you think I have lost my mind, let me clarify. My husband and I went on a trip to Kansas City for five wonderful days. My husband was going to attend a ceramics convention for school. I decided to tag along. We both needed a vacation and it seemed like a perfect opportunity. The trip was truly a breath of fresh air. The change in landscape was refreshing. The fog of our daily responsibilities lifted. This trip was the most time my husband and I have been able to spend together in about a month. We walked around Kansas City looking at ceramics and art exhibits until our feet and legs felt like they were going to fall off. Then we would retreat back to the hotel to the hot tub. We went to a concert and ate at so many great restaurants. We walked through art museums. I got to stare in awe at a beautiful Van Gogh painting. In five short days, we absorbed so much art. We were stuffed to the brim with inspiration and too much good food. On our way home, we made a stop in Lawrence, Kansas where there was two of the most quintessential book stores I have ever stepped into, complete with a cat to pet while making your selection. A local told us to stop by this local bakery and we split the most delicious blueberry cream cheese pastry. But after five fun-filled, care-free days, it was time to return back to work and responsibilities. But I came home renewed and with a refreshed perspective. Sometimes, we all just need to run away. And I highly recommend it. Trips can’t always happen, but find a way to escape. Sit down and get lost in a good book or a good conversation with a friend. Find a way to strip yourself from the cloud of responsibilities that are always floating around your head. Find a way to ease your soul. But as I write this, I admit that my suitcase is sitting open ready to be packed. I am getting ready to run away again. Just for the weekend. I am running away to Grandma’s house for a perfect Easter weekend full of food and family. Kansas City skyline
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By Marie Bombeck
Today I got to do something I have wanted to do for at least two weeks now, if not more. What was that? Well, you are reading it. Every time I have sat down to write, there seemed to be something more important to take my attention, such as unpacking and settling into the new apartment, commitments taking me out of town or some other excuse. The list could just go on and on. But today I finally carved out the time to do sit down in my new messy office, ignored the teetering stacks of boxes, and just wrote. I used to have too much time on my hands, beginning of January and through February. But March started and life caught me off guard. Time seems to be spread too thin and I never have enough to go around. So the tables have turned. I can’t seem to find the time to do the things I want to do. It was like mid-sentence of “I’m so bor--” life punched me in the gut and made my head spin in a busy whirl. There has been a string of sleepless nights and early mornings. There is mountain of dirty laundry and a pile of dishes in the sink. When it’s time to eat, there is nothing to eat in the fridge because I haven’t gone grocery shopping for weeks. I have been so busy that I have not had the chance to do things that I enjoy doing. And these are the days I don’t feel like myself. How do you not lose yourself in all that stuff to do? How do you make time to do the things you love that make you feel like you? When your eyes are too tired after work to read that book on your night stand that is collecting dust? Or you know you should ride your bike or go for a walk, but that seems like it would take up too much energy. Whatever it is that you have the desire to do, you don’t seem to be able to find the time. I have been doing some soul searching lately to try to find the answer to this complex question and I am still working on it. So this is part one of two posts where I am calling on all of you. I am quite certain that this may be a common problem that threads many of us together. When is the time you carve out for just you? How have you learned to juggle your responsibilities along with the things that you want to do? Do some soul searching this week. Mull it over. And comment below. Let’s help each other find the time to be ourselves. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. By Marie Bombeck
January was a long month. The start of February has been a bit rocky, too. Though I attempted to have a positive attitude, my impatience made way for negative feelings of self doubt. And the past month and a half has really tested my patience. All this stress was over a job and over an apartment. Between my job interviews, we were searching for a new apartment. All of the apartments we found were out of our price range or too sketchy to be habitable or not pet friendly. I was filling out dozens of job applications, but jobs just weren't calling me back. I began loosing patience and faith. I was in a rut that I couldn't do anything about. I felt like I was doing everything on my end, but the circumstances just wouldn’t change. When our new apartment came through and I found a second part-time job, I sat back and said a prayer of thanks to God. Some of that stress was lifted off my shoulders. I relaxed a moment and then it hit me. I really wasn’t doing everything on my end. I wasn’t giving my life to Jesus. I was trying to control every aspect of my life even when it was out of my control. I wasn't relying on the Lord for self-assurance that these hard times would pass. I did not have faith that the Lord would present me opportunities to provide for my little family; my husband and two little kitties. Sometimes we get caught up in what we want. We want what we want, and we want it now. We have plans on how our lives should go and we just can’t get there fast enough. When our plans go awry, we blame ourselves. We never stop to think that perhaps that is not what God had in His plans for us. But the Lord has plans for our future. If we let Him, He will fuel the desire in our hearts to reach our dreams and our potential. The last month, I have tried to mold my future with my hands. Though, I always will need to work hard for the things I want and the things I dream of achieving. I know that I need to put a little more faith in God that it will all work out. This December I graduated. This December I was thrown full force into the world of being an adult. Christmas and New Year's helped soften the blow. But, as many of my friends are realizing, we are adults now. The fact that I wear office attire more often than I wear sweat pants is probably a sign that carefree days are probably over. But sometimes, I just don’t want to do this adult thing right now.
My friends and I were so excited to graduate. However in the back of my mind, I wondered what I was going to do next. It has only been a month, and the slow, monotonous pace of being an adult is testing my patience. My life seems to be a on a slower pace than the rest of the world. I have days that are just filled with cleaning the apartment. Am I supposed to feel satisfaction in a clean house? Because I am not sure I do. Also, I am uneasy about the structure of adult life. I have been in school since I was four-years-old. Semesters and breaks have been the structure of my life. And now, that just disappears. It’s just work now. No spring breaks. No summer vacation. It's just my life now. Nothing but holidays to divide up the year. When you are a student, it seems to be a defining fact of who you are. Graduation serves as an ultimate goal for at least four years. Now, student is no longer an accurate adjective to describe me. I have to redetermine what my ultimate goal is. And frankly that seems like a lot of work. But then again when I think about it, I remember that I am not doing assignments that I feel are useless aides to my education. I didn’t drop a large sum on textbooks this semester. I come home from work and can feel no guilt watching Netflix because I don’t have an assignment due the next morning. I pick what books I want to read because I have the time. I select the art projects I work on. I have creative freedom. So maybe, between the uncertainty of the future and responsibilities of being an adult, there may be a few perks. I may actually grow to like being an adult. By Marie Bombeck
2016 is now in the works. We are in the second full week. For me personally, 2016 has a lot to live up to. Last year was an eventful one, full of transitions and changes. I married the love of my life. Then two weeks into our marriage, our new little family doubled, with cats, that is. We found two little kittens that needed our help and stole our hearts away with one meow. Besides that, my parents moved away from my childhood home and relocated towns. My baby sister graduated high school. My middle sister entered a new stage of her college career and moved back to Nebraska. So as I enter the New Year, my life is strangely calm. Beside my part-time job and searching for a new job and new apartment, I can focus on me. I am not wedding planning. I am not packing up my childhood in boxes. There is not any homework to complete. The juggling act that was my life has a few less objects to juggle. There are days that I have absolutely no commitments. I have the opportunity to catch my breath. As cheesy as it may be, I started to reflect on my life. One question seemed to resurface in my thoughts: What’s next? At my college graduation party the question was asked by my family and friends. Honestly, I don’t know. It seems that after graduations, I never have it planned out. Let’s back track a few years to high school graduation day. At that party, the same question was asked. I knew part of the answer, college, but where? I had no clue. I had it narrowed down between two schools. But I had absolutely no idea which one to choose. So I broke out all the usual methods to make a big decision such as the pros and cons list. I visited the towns of the colleges one more time. I may have even flipped a coin. Finally, I made my decision two weeks later. Little did I know, it would lead to a whole chain of reactions of awesome things in my life that now I couldn't live without. I met my very best friends that have helped me through more than I can ever thank. I met the man I now call my husband because he happened to be in the cafeteria freshman year eating alone (that may be a story for a later day.) If I was in school in a different state, I never would have met him. So what’s next for 2016? Maybe I am a bit naïve, but I think there is time to figure that out. There is never a time in your life, or at least I sincerely hope not, that you are not growing or transitioning into something new. If I rush to make big decisions, I could miss out on something extraordinary. So let 2016 take its course. Take the time to stop and reflect. Take a moment to breathe and enjoy your life right where it is. Enter this New Year with an open heart and an open mind. Sometimes when we are too focused on what’s next, we miss what could be. Let life take you where you need to be this year. By Marie Bombeck There is the old saying about writing what you know. The last year and a half, I have started to mull over that idea and take it to heart. I have revisited old works that I have tucked away in folders on my laptop and pulled out scraps of papers with incoherent thoughts scribbled in my nearly illegible handwriting. I skimmed short stories about my life that I jotted down in journals. Writing has been something I have picked up and stopped over the years, but I always have found my way back to it. Writing is a more direct creative outlet for me that I have yet to achieve with my paint brush. In a matter of minutes, I can record a feeling or thought in writing. And it is a heck of a lot faster than dragging out the paints. So as 2016 looms around the corner, the timing seemed right that I start to make a small idea I had a big one. You probably can relate to the experience of putting off something that you want to do. If not, I bow to your superior model of self discipline. As for me though, Netflix is flipped on and binged watched. Then I proceed to what I call productive procrastination. I clean. The apartment is scoured. All specks of dusts are removed. Shoes are lined up perfectly in the entry way. In most extreme cases, I start to organize my closet, clean out my desk. Meanwhile, the cursor on the computer blinks in that new untitled Word document. When I finally sit down at the computer, I enter the research phase of procrastination. I google, I pin. I attempt to fully understand the task I want to complete. For this endeavor, I researched tips for blog writing. I researched blogs, read blogs. I even researched the best font to use. I think in the end I was on YouTube watching Jimmy Fallon clips. However, all these were tactics of putting off what I really wanted to do: write. I am a New Girl fan so please forgive my reference. As I was writing this, I felt a bit like Nick Miller writing his zombie novel. I was full of excuses and reasons not to pursue this, but it is time to put all things that are stopping me behind me. There are always reasons not to do something. There is quote I wrote on a chalkboard in my apartment, “You don’t have to be great to start. You have to start to be great.” It's time to follow that advice. So here I am starting. I am not sure if I have yet properly introduced myself, but I don’t think that I can be wrapped up in a nutshell, I don’t think anyone can or should be. So let my entries and thoughts tell my story. Stick with me. I hope it is going to get good. And in case you were wondering... the apartment is a mess. I sat down and wrote instead. |
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